North Carolina

North Carolina matters as more than the destination of Lara Jean’s college plans: it gives physical shape to the conflict between choosing her own future and trying to preserve a relationship across distance. Her decision to attend UNC places it opposite Peter’s commitment to UVA, and the state becomes the imagined site of a life together that she ultimately fears would cost him too much.

College and the Future

For Lara Jean, North Carolina is tied to UNC, where she expects to study while Peter attends UVA. Their different universities make the question of where to go inseparable from how each will begin adult life. When Peter’s mother worries that he may transfer to North Carolina, Lara Jean immediately offers to tell him not to do so. Her response reflects the practical and emotional weight attached to the place: she does not want Peter to abandon the athletic and academic future he has worked toward in order to follow her.

North Carolina also holds the promise of a new social world. Lara Jean’s older sister, Margot, advises her to make friends independently of Peter and to join an Asian association, drawing on her own experience of studying in another country without an Asian-American group. The advice frames college as a chance not only to pursue a degree but to find community and explore racial identity on her own terms.

A Family Connection to Place

The state is associated with family routines and familiar excursions as well as college. The Cheese Shop near campus sells specialty foods and roast beef sandwiches that Lara Jean’s father enjoys; Kitty likes the nearby Williamsburg outlet mall, especially its freshly popped kettle corn. These details make the area imaginable through shared pleasures, even as the family considers how Lara Jean’s departure will change the household.

Her father and grandmother arrange a July trip to Korea for the sisters, including a stay with their great-aunt in Seoul, Korean-language classes, a tour of the country, and a Korean pastry-making class for Lara Jean. Margot anticipates shopping and learning to watch Korean dramas without subtitles. Their plans connect North Carolina’s impending separation from Peter with an alternative journey into family and cultural history. Margot also insists that Korean food is a central link to their heritage and that Trina, on marrying their father, joins a family in which Korea is part of the package.

Identity and Cultural Negotiation

North Carolina’s college setting is part of a wider negotiation over who gets to define cultural belonging. Lara Jean worries that Colonial Williamsburg might not hire Asian people to portray the past accurately, even as she imagines working there in period dress and churning butter. Margot counters with the example of Phillipa Soo, who played Eliza Hamilton, and argues that Lara Jean should not be excluded from the role. The exchange locates a question of representation within ordinary decisions about work and the future.

The same care over cultural meaning appears when the family discusses wedding customs. Peter proposes a tradition he has seen in a film, but Kitty points out that it is Thai rather than Korean. Margot objects that Trina should not appropriate Asian culture simply because the family is Asian; Lara Jean replies that Trina is trying to include them and has considered acknowledging their mother. Together, these moments resist treating Asian identity as one interchangeable set of customs, while showing how the family’s cultural ties remain present as Lara Jean prepares to leave home.

North Carolina and the Relationship

The possibility of Peter moving to North Carolina sharpens the stakes of Lara Jean’s college choice. Peter’s mother tells Lara Jean that her son is loyal and may not let her go unless she lets him go first. She asks Lara Jean to consider the consequences of Peter making major life decisions around their relationship, and to keep the conversation confidential. Lara Jean initially answers that she will tell Peter not to transfer; the concern, she soon understands, reaches beyond a transfer to the risk of diverting his attention from being a student-athlete at UVA.

When Lara Jean tells Peter that they should not attempt a long-distance relationship, she argues that he needs to play lacrosse and study at UVA while she needs to do what she must at UNC. She insists that he should not give up what he has worked for to be with her. Peter hears the decision as a rejection and says he had mentioned North Carolina to his mother only as a throwaway possibility, not a settled plan. He believes Lara Jean has been saying goodbye ever since she chose UNC. In that painful misunderstanding, North Carolina stands for both her independence and the distance that threatens their relationship: a destination she chooses for herself, not a demand that Peter follow.